Are you making things tough for yourself? It’s so easy to be an expert on how other people or life’s circumstances are making life difficult for you. Because of “x, y or z” you can’t hit your stride, be “in the zone” or get what you want. But sometimes the biggest obstacle to living life with grace, ease and success is right between our own two ears. As Jon Kabat-Zinn said, “You can’t stop the wave, but you can learn to surf.”

Let me give you a personal example. A while ago I received a summons for jury duty. This is one of those civic duties …. Read more »

Q. “I just don’t understand why my spouse gave up on us. I can’t seem to get past wondering why he threw in the towel.”

A. It can make it hard to heal from a relationship breakdown when you didn’t initiate the break-up, or if you feel blindsided by your partner’s decision to end it. Often partners are at different stages in their level of acceptance of the fact that the relationship is over. However, you do yourself a disservice by remaining stuck on needing a clear explanation of “why” your spouse chose to leave.

As my first teacher, Debbie Ford, would often say, “Knowing why is the booby prize.” The brain loves to have reasons and explanations. Often we use that as an excuse to distract ourselves or not make a decision on what we need to do to move forward…. Read more »

Are you going through a separation or divorce? Or do you know someone who is?

With every single piece of your life in flux as you end a significant relationship, it’s hard to know where to start so you can thrive after divorce.

Join me on Tuesday, June 23, 2009 at 9pm eastern/6pm pacific for our monthly THRIVE Community call. Our topic will be “Successfully Navigating Your Divorce” and I’ll answer your most pressing questions and challenges in this call.

Registration is F*ree. All you need to do is visit:  www.AskThriveAfterDivorce.com

My commitment to you is that you leave this call with more confidence and clarity about how to put all those pieces of the divorce puzzle back together again, the way YOU want them.

It’s happening TONIGHT! Call-in details will be emailed to you when you register.

I look forward to hearing you on the call!

Traveling to a new place brings out the explorer spirit of curiosity in us. But what would life be like if we treated every day as one big adventure? To thrive in life means to bring a sense of wonder and excitement to each day, and not just for those few weeks when we may travel to some new destination. We can adapt some of the strategies we use when planning a trip in our daily life as well.

Set a Course and Get Prepared

In real life, many of us don’t have a clear plan or itinerary for where we want to go. Without a clear destination in mind, it’s no wonder sometimes people feel like life is passing them by.

The first step is to decide where you want to go… Read more »

Q. “I’m in the middle of getting separated but most of my friends are still couples. I feel disconnected suddenly with people and am tired of explaining all the details of what happened. I don’t want pity, I want support, but how do I get it from them?”

A. It’s quite common for people going through separation to feel a sense of social isolation or disconnection. You are going through a big transition. If most of your existing social support is based in couples, you may feel like a fish out of water for a while. It will take some time to regain a sense of balance in your friendships. You may find that you lose some friends, but that you’ll gain some new friends as you transition out of your relationship.

Let’s address the “explaining all the details of what happened” part. You do not need to do that, if you feel it doesn’t serve you. People can be very curious and sometimes very tactless in wanting to know all of the gory details, when it’s really nobody’s business but your own. So just because they ask a question doesn’t mean you have to answer. Read more »