I’m often asked by clients or the media for my top tips to help people who are in the process of divorce. Here are the second 5 of my Top 10 Tips. If you missed Part 1, it’s posted here on the blog.

6. Ask Great Questions

   The quality of our solutions will be in direct proportion to the quality of questions we ask. Asking “Why me?” or “How could he/she do this to me?” ultimately doesn’t shed much light on the road ahead. Instead, try… asking “What can I learn from this situation?” or “What would I choose differently in my next relationship?” A great question is a far more powerful tool to use to harvest the wisdom that can come to us through divorce.

7. Express Yourself

   With the kaleidoscope of emotions you’ll encounter during the divorce process, it’s important to find a healthy way to express and release your emotions. Think of your emotions as simply energy in motion. How can you let them out? Anger can be great to release in an aerobics class or pumping weights. Let your sadness find its way out in the pages of your journal or through a conversation with a trusted friend. Give voice to your joy with an impromptu karaoke contest or do a victory dance worthy of the winning touchdown in the Super Bowl.

8. Get Some Support

   Einstein said that problems cannot be solved at the level of thinking that created them in the first place. It’s critical you find effective support in your social network during your divorce process. Find a trusted friend or divorce “buddy,” a divorce coach, therapist, or a community support group. Be wary of engaging in prolonged gossiping or pity parties with curious family or friends. They may give you a feeling of temporary support, but ultimately help to keep you stuck in the past. Some of your friends will remain with you through your divorce journey, and some will not. Be sure you surround yourself with positive, encouraging supporters.

9. Commit to Self-Care

   When your emotional resources are likely to be at their lowest, you’ll need to make choices that affect your future. You’ll be required to make major decisions regarding finances, legalities, your children (if you have them) and your home, to name just a few. It’s important to be patient and loving towards yourself. Commit to strong self-care practices so you can recharge your batteries. Healthy eating, regular exercise, walks in nature, and meditation are just a few simple examples of how you can nurture yourself.

10. Celebrate Your Wins

    Most of us are trained to look for our mistakes, our challenges, and our failures. Looking at the glass as half empty will definitely make your road to a new life after divorce much longer and more difficult. Celebrate your accomplishments, even the little baby steps. Whether it’s having coffee with a dear friend, or keeping yourself grounded while having a difficult conversation, celebrate each and every win. Train yourself to look for all of the things you’d like to acknowledge yourself for, and then give yourself a big pat on the back!

 Top Tips for Life After Divorce: Part 1