There’s nothing like attending the funeral of someone special to shift your perspective. Recently one of my daughter’s favorite teachers passed away suddenly after battling leukemia for two years. She left behind a grief-stricken husband and three young children ranging in age from 3 to 13. Although we were really just acquaintances, she definitely touched my heart with her grace, enthusiasm of life and her passion for her students. Judging from the hundreds of people who attended her funeral, her intense joy of life had touched many others as well.

In the midst of sadness and loss, whether it’s a death or a divorce, is it possible to transform this event into an opportunity for something positive? I believe so. In so doing, we have the possibility of bringing meaning to an event that might otherwise appear senseless and without purpose. Often the most tragic of events contain the clues to how we can…live our happiest and most fulfilled lives.

Here are some of the nuggets I’ve gleaned for myself with this loss that may support you as you deal with the loss of your relationship and your dreams for living “happily ever after.” I’ve included questions to help you reflect more deeply.

1.The Time Is Now.

What are we waiting for? So often people hold themselves back from living full out and going for their dreams. We wait for permission or approval to move ahead. We hold back until we have acquired enough knowledge or skills. We tread water until the fear of the unknown subsides. When we hesitate to seize the moment, we rob ourselves of deep happiness and contentment.

Let’s remember that life is precious and time is fleeting. We never really know how much time we have left to fulfill our purpose. As Wayne Dyer teaches, “Don’t die with your music still inside of you!”

Food for Thought: What are YOU waiting for? What song have you yet to sing and share with the world?

2.Who Are You?

The eulogy of my friend was very moving. It wasn’t her many accomplishments that struck me the most. What moved me were the qualities people used to describe her. She was passionate, inquisitive, caring, generous, loving and welcoming. We typically explain who we are by what we do. But we are not our jobs, our roles, or our acquisitions. There is an essence or spirit within each of us that is expressed.

Food for Thought: What would you want people to say about you when your time comes? Embody those qualities that most inspire you.

3.The Meaning of Happiness

Are you happy? What brings you joy? Have you put your happiness on hold until you have financial security, or a new fantastic relationship, or you’ve lost those extra 20 pounds, or when your children get great marks at school? Stop and notice the criteria you think you need to have met before you can be truly happy and fulfilled.

Life can be unpredictable, so let’s stop procrastinating on experiencing happiness. It’s often those quiet, everyday moments that bring me the biggest joy if I stop long enough to notice them. Moments like body surfing with my boys or watching them build sand castles at the beach. Looking at my dog’s contented face as I brush her fur. Eating my lunch outside and noticing the network of tree branches and leaves overhead. Being fully present to where I am right now allows me to dive completely into that moment and deeply appreciate it.

Food for Thought: What does happiness mean to you? Where can you choose to experience happiness and joy in your life today?

In my next issue, I’ll share the rest of the lessons I learned in Part 2 of Living with Purpose and Passion.